


His Dream

by Sifidriveby



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28365918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sifidriveby/pseuds/Sifidriveby
Summary: Erwin thought he was for humanity, he thought he was for truth, but when he's faced with reality; what does he truly believe?
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	His Dream

You meet him while in the Survey Corps many years ago. You were a bright eyed recruit and he was your Commander, but the talent you possessed maneuvering the ODM gear and nack for killing Titans climbed you up the ranks very quickly. Erwin faced no challenge when coming to the decision of paring you with Mike and Levi. The three of you easily become humanities best soldiers

'But that was ages ago. Things are different now. The rightful Queen sits on her thrown, peace and balance were brought to the inner walls, and things felt right again.

Erwins new position denies him leave from the walls, he works closely with Queen Historia; always planning the next move for humanity sake. Levi and Hange take up the Survey Corp and lead the hero's: Jean, Connie, Sasha, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. They are humanities future. Humanities hope. 

"Commander," a boy from the military police salutes Erwin. "The Queen has requested you ." 

Ewrin nods and stands from his behind his desk, heading out to Queen Historias Court. The halls empty and quiet, the sound of his shoes echo through. He reaches her thrown room and enters to bow to her. "Your highness."

Historia giggles at his proper salute "I can't believe I once saw you as my superior. How quickly times change."

"We are in a constantly evolving world. It grows bigger every day, I can't say I'm surprised"

The fair haired woman casts her eyes away "I heard about you and (y/n), congratulations. I remember how she used to fawn over you after each meeting or passing glance." Erwin smiles at the Queen. "You've worked hard for this country, for humanity. Please, take a the rest of the day to stay with her. She was a friend and I want her husband to spend time with her. That's an order, from your Queen."

Erwin laughs and agrees. Not wasting any time to get a carriage to take him home; which wasn't much. It a Small town house in the inner walls. It provided shelter for the both of you, and your soon to be. 

"Commander," the carriage driver spoke as Erwin steps out of the cart "thank you for everything you've done for humanity. You were our greatest ally."

Erwin looks back at him and only nods, his self doubt eating at him. Inside he is greated with the savoury smell of his favorite food. You stand over the stove, back towards him. "Honey?" He calls to you, sounding unsure of himself. 

You turn your body towards him, your apron hanging over the clear baby bumb that protrudes from your stomach. "Ewrin!" You gasp with a smile "My love, You're home early!" You rush to him and kiss him. 

He smiles and wraps an arm around your waist "wow. You looks stunning. Absolutely gorgeous." 

You blush taking his hand, "oh Erwin. You give me butterflies like the first time I met you. Food is just about done if you're ready to eat." You begin to walk away from him but he grabs your hand. 

"Actually, if it's alright with you; do you mind if we can just lay in bed for awhile?" 

"Of course!" You stop the stove and lead him to bed. He strips off his jacket, boots and other unnecessary clothes in the hallway that leads to your bedroom. 

You waste no time laying down and making yourself comfortable, your husband follows suit. You both lay facing each other, his hand resting firmly on your bumb. He presses his forehead against yours and sighs. 

"I am selfish," he says. You look at him but his eyes are closed. "I am selfish and an impostor. I've killed hundreds of people, (y/n). Lead them to their deaths. Just so I could be here. Just to have this peace." He feels your hand cup his chin, your palm warms him. "I don't care about humanity. I don't care about being humanities saviour. I thought I wanted truth. Truth about the walls and the Reiss family. But I don't care about that either." He continues. 

"Then what do you care about?" You ask, interrupting his train of thought. 

"I care about you. After I found you and nearly lost you. I realized this, what this is, I want this more than ever right now. To rest in your arms and never let go. To hell with humanity. We're all damned anyway, is it wrong of me to just want this peace? To be here with you."

"Oh Erwin.You did what needed to be done, regardless of your own desires. And I know my husband; I know that at the end of the day you would sacrifice yourself if you really need to." You kiss him softly, and he gets lost in it. The taste of your lips makes the world disappear; the idea of raising a family with you, of being with you till you both grow old and pass away peacefully, it almost has him forgeting all the horror he's lived through, all the battles hes fought. The one he's fighting. "You know what you need to do right now." You mutter against his lips.'

A hard hand slaps down on his shoulder. Erwin is suddenly aware of everything around him. The screams of his soldiers, the towering Wall Maria, the boulders that fly through the air due to the Beast Titan. 

"Give up on your dream and die." 

Erwin looks at Levi, who's hand on him tightens. It's there Erwin tells his comrade of this failures. This desires to know whats in the basement, to know the truth then to live with you. The unfortunate one he grew to love. He damned you from the start, to love a selfish man. 

All the meanwhile, you stood with Mikasa and Jean preparing your plan to take the Armored Titan down. Armin and Eren dealing with the Colossal Titan. 

The plan was simple enough. Sasha and Connie would use their thunder spears to break open Reiners jaw and Mikasa would land the last blow into his mouth. Hitting his weakspot from inside. 

At least that's how it was supposed to go until Sasha missed forcing Mikasa to use hers, in a last ditch effort you land yours perfectly. Reiner is pulled out of the Armored titan. 

"Good job. Take him out, now." Hange stands on the roof of a nearby building. One of the lens of their glasses shattered. Jean and you pulled Reiner to against the wall. 

They were ready to kill him. But Jean coast them out of it. Reiner hands you a letter from Ymir hopping you could give it to Historia. Before more information could be beat out of him he gets swooped up by the Cart Titan. 

"Damn it!" You curse kicking the ground. You look over to where Armin and Eren were to see the dust has settled. Mikasa waste no time zipping over. "Mikasa wait!" You call to her and follow suit. 

On the roof, Levi and Eren stand over a burnt Armin. You step towards him but Connie stops you. Levi has the serum prepared.

"Captian! Wait!" A voice calls from the distance. Floch, a recruit who was in the charge, brings a heavily wounded Erwin to the roof. "He's hurt but breathing."

The second Erwin was put down you push past Connie and fall to your knees near the commander. You gently rest his head on your lap and stoke his hair. "Erwin." You choke back tears. 

A fight breaks out between Eren, Mikasa, and Levi for who should the chance to live. But you pay It no mind. You only stare down at the man that owned your heart. He looked somewhat peaceful, like he was sleeping. His hair stuck to his forehead due to sweat. Blood dripped from his side but he looked so unbothered. 

You refused to believe this is true. The countless visits to his office and talks of nothing but everything at the same time. How you've grown to love him. And you knew deep down in your heart he felt the same even if he could never tell you. It was the way he would brush his pinky against yours every time you stood near each other, or how he would let his hand linger engulfing yours when grabbing papers from you, and the way he would grab your waist when passing behind you. 

"(Y/N)," Levi spoke. You head snaps to him. "You need to get going. I need to do this." He leans down, ready to inject the commander. Erwins arm shoots up before Levi could puncture it.

"Sir, How Do You Know For Sure There's Nobody On The Other Side Of The Walls?"

'A young Erwin asks his father. Little did he know that one question would cause him so much pain. 

"Its okay Erwin." You smile. He opens his eyes to meet yours. He's in bed, hand still resting on your bumb. "You did so good! I'm so proud!" In your eyes tears build. He knows what's happening. It wasn't as scary as he thought it would be. "You did so great. I love you so much." '

Tears drop from your cheek on to his. "I love you so much, Erwin. Thank you for everything."

You try to wipe the wetness off your face and his, and rest your forehead on his. You're grateful you did, because in a quiet and raspy voice you hear his last breath. "I love you too."

"(Y/N)! Let's go!" Levi pulls you to your feet as lightning strikes. Armins titan form peaking over the building. In the distance where the rest were waiting they heard a duo of screams. Berthold shouting for humanity and yours screaming for Erwin. 

Just like that the wall was taken back and the squad falls back to Wall Rose to restock. Both Armin and Eren fast asleep in the wagon back. The only thing left was to clean up the remain titans that entered during the fall of Wall Maria. 

"(Y/N)! Stay focused! Were not out of the woods yet." Hange calls to you. Not far behind the wagon, Hange , Levi, Sasha, and Connie rode on the last of the surviving horses. Trailing them was a herd of titans. 

"Yes Commander!" You shout back at her. "Jean, double time." He encourages the horses but it's not much. You look at Mikasa and Eren, whose head lays on her lap. They don't realize it yet, you think to yourself, but they have a love like no other. A love that you could have had. 

You cast your eyes away and grind your teeth. Reaching into your jacket you pull out a small book. A journal you've kept about events that took place between your first day at training to moments after Armin inherits the Colossal Titan. 

"Mikasa," you speak softly, as if you're trying to avoid waking the two boy, who look as peaceful as ever sleeping. "When you're safe, please give this to Hange. It has information about everything we've learned. And my own experiences. Keep our legacy. Commander Erwin was a good man and let no one sully His name." 

You lay the book down next to Erens hand, Mikasa looks at you With sad eyes. All she could mutter was a gentle 'dont' but you were already on your way. Using the last bit of your gas you stuck a hook into the nearest tree, zipping and hanging on it. 

"(Y/N), WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" Levi yells to you as You swing by the captain. 

A titan reaches for him but you're quick to the draw, cutting it's nape "You'll never reach Rose safely with them on your trail. I got a little gas left, create some distance!"

Levi tsked but kept riding, Sasha calls to Hange "What do we do, Commander?"

They look down, their bangs cover their eyes. Humanity has lost a lot of good people this day. It's a choice between losing one more, or losing the rest. "Keep riding. Widen the gap." 

You watch them continue to ride off. The last of The Scouts. Your feet planted firmly on the wood of your hanging tree. You turn back to the Titans, their mouth agape, eyes buring with hunger. 

In a fit of rage and with a hearty yell you latch your hook into the nearest titans neck and soar to it. /One clean slice, that's all it takes./

You zip to another. /from neck to nape/ you shout as another titan falls with thunder. 

/Give meaning to your comrades life/ you pant looking to the next titan. As You fly towards it and cuts it nape, one of your blades shatters, leaving you with a third of it's size. 

You curse looking at your duo blades, you have not much left but there are only three titans left. /Dedicate Your heart!/ you hook on to the next titans cheek, but as your swing toward it, it knocks you away. Your unbroken blade lost to nature, and the last of your gas used. 

Protecting yourself, you tuck and roll as you slide across the ground. The wind gets knocked out of you but you try to quickly regain your footing. You manage to stand on shaky ground. The only thing left for you was your broken blade. 

You breath heavily and hold the blade in front of you with two unsteady hands. For a solid second you could hear Erwin shouting in the distance /My Soldiers, Rage! My Soldiers, Scream! My Soldiers, Fight!/ 

You look down at your feet, and fix them for a combat stance. You look back up With cloudy teary eyes to see a titan staring at you. Your grip around your sword tightens as the grinning monster reaches for you. 

His hand engulfs your entire lower half as he picks you up. You yell; not in fear, or panic. You scream in anger, rage, bloody murder. The titan opens his mouth and dangles you in front of it. Your eyes mark your target in the back of his throat, and your scream doesn't falter as he lets you plunge into his mouth.


End file.
